How many times people say No before they say YES?

11/28/2016 by

“No, I am not interested in your service.” Those were the words I saw in a chat the other day. In my head I heard a door slamming and felt a punch to my abdomen. Ouch!

Failure in beauty contests, a "No" to a business or a engagement proposal are supposed to be common. We are trained to accept them; however, NO ONE LIKES TO LOSE OR BE LEFT BEHIND!"

Les Brown, one of my favorite speakers and inspiring characters, was told by his first mentor, after his first rejection that "people say NO seven times before they say YES... so go back there and try it out again." There is also the incredible story of Jack Ma, who now laughs at the ten-time rejection he received from Harvard. As well as the time he was not selected in KFC. I highly enjoy all those "NO" stories that made them even more eager to succeed.

But why do rejections and negative comments towards you hurt so bad and what should we do?


Carol Zurita - People Say No Before They Say Yes

I think a person's level of self-worth is built up over the years. Thus when parents or tutors reward children, or not, for their achievements, that message is recorded in the back of their minds and remains there... sometimes forever. When those children become adults, their subconscious plays a significant role in how strong their willingness to emerge as a leader, a successful salesman, great entrepreneur or just an attractive man or woman among the rest in the community. Therefore, when stabbed with the sharp knife of rejection, their souls are either as soft as a chocolate pudding or as hard as a rock.

Shifting ones mindset is not easy, and it takes time and persistence. First, we need to be aware of our lack of self-confidence and accept it instead of fighting it. I have experienced many rejections and losses several times too, and I am happy to share the practices that helped me deal with them. I not only accept them but I naturally turned them into a positive belief and consequently that feeling of gratitude finally arrives.


Dealing with Rejection

1. Create three positive affirmations. Write them down on a paper and keep it with you in your pocket every day. Read them aloud every day, as many times as possible, for a month. If you happen to forget one day, don't worry. Just start the month over again until you've said read them aloud everyday for an entire month.

2. Give yourself an hour or so, to read or watch stories of success and adopt the practices and thoughts that leaders share openly. Remember, if you want to be successful, you have to act as if you are now.

3. Change your inner dialogue and remove those words you usually tell yourself when you forget the keys at home or spilt coffee on your clothes. Adopt sentences such as "I am proud of you ...(followed by your name)", "you did a great job," and "it is ok to have made that mistake because you have the experience and this new lesson."


Carol Zurita - People Say No Before They Say Yes


Be patient with yourself and stay aware of the changes in your new personality and character.

Share with me your stories of rejection and the how you turned them into a strength.


"The best revenge is massive success." Frank Sinatra.



Carol Zurita

About the Author: Carol Zurita

Carol Zurita is an author, speaker, and life & business mentor in China since 2014. Carol is traveling country-wide with her seminars and workshops for foreign entrepreneurs and professionals in China. "Get Powerful and Sexy Now" and "Rock your Ideas and Grow Rich." The seminars are both practical guides with great content to help women and men start a better life, either for themselves or their business. Her upcoming book "Get Powerful Now,my guide to moving on" will be published by the summer of 2017 in English, Spanish and Chinese. Learn more about her and her seminars in or her wechat 13798300452.


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